*Romance is an important part of any relationship. In fact, many people would say that romantic love between partners is the glue that holds a relationship together. But is it healthy for your relationship? And is it healthy to fall in love so hard that you lose sight of everything else?*
*This blog will look at why we crave more romantic love and how you can use this to keep the passion in your relationship.*
*I work with a lot of clients that have experienced painful attachments and yes, addictions to love. In the search for romantic love, we can forget the inner voice and red flags that are asking us to stop and review. Is this relationship healthy? Am I self-protecting and in a state of allowance, flow and non-judgment? Or is this romantic love turning into a living nightmare?*
*There are many people who stay in toxic relationships because they're addicted to the pain of it. They think that if they can just endure a little more, things will eventually get better. But more often than not, it's just an endless cycle of pain that never gets any better. If you find yourself in a relationship that is making you question your sanity, it's time to get out. There is no shame in admitting that you made a mistake and that you need to walk away before things get any worse.*
*Romantic love can take you to heaven or hell; I don't mind sharing that I've been to both at the same time!*
As a relationship coach, I can tell you from experience that some of the best insights come not from the relationships that are perfect and easy, but from the ones that are full of pain and dysfunction. It's in these relationships that we learn to love others more and ourselves less. We learn what it means to be truly dependent on someone else.
*My addiction to finding love was repetitive and painful. I took risks with my heart and well-being, looking for love in all the wrong places. I was tired of these patterns, so I took control and empowered myself to self-love and make healthy love choices. (I'm still a work in progress, but I'm getting there!)*
*What is it about romantic love that can make it so intoxicating, yet so damaging? Why do we often crave what we know is bad for us? When we are in the throes of passionate love, it can be hard to think straight. Our rational brain is overruled by emotions and desires. But why does this happen?*
*The biology of romantic love is all about brain circuitry and the chemicals that flow through it. These include serotonin, dopamine, estrogen, and progesterone. All of these work together to create the drive and need for romantic love. In some ways, you can liken romantic love to addiction. The stages of addiction are tolerance, withdrawal, and relapse. Sound familiar?*
*I think it's difficult to love others wholeheartedly if we don't love ourselves first. After all, how can we give what we don't have? We need to pour love into ourselves before we can hope to have enough to share with the people around us.*
*Love is definitely something wonderful. It can be a lot of fun and make you feel incredibly happy. However, I also believe that love can be a very powerful and addictive feeling. That's why I would advise people to go forth in love boldly but not carelessly. It's important to remember to love yourself first and foremost. No one else can complete you - despite what the movies might say!*
*I am not cynically against love or blind to its romantic fantasy - in fact, I would consider myself a born romantic and matchmaker. I still dream of the first date, the giddy anticipation, and butterflies that come with it, and spending time with a handsome, intriguing person that is both respectful and sexy!*
*If you love somebody from a place of emptiness, you can become obsessed with them, attached to them, and addicted to the chemical reactions that come with being in love. But if that love is misplaced, you will only end up feeling pain and disappointment.*
*The risk of falling in and out of love can be lessened when we learn to love ourselves, make healthy choices, break negative patterns, and stay whole even when we're in the throes of romantic love!-
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